Well that’s that, I left my job.
Not in a blaze of glory with my ID badge flying out the window and blaring Beyoncé” kind of way (tempting, but no), but in a much more adult-ish, gave notice, tied up loose ends, please-don’t-contact-me-ever-again kind of way.
Let me be clear — I’m not just leaving a job.
I’m stepping away from a workplace that could best be described as a corporate mashup of The Office, Survivor, and Love Island. It was chaotic. It was dramatic. And it somehow managed to be deeply unhinged and deeply uneventful all at once.
I’m off to a new opportunity — one that doesn’t require a survival strategy or group therapy. And I could not be more excited.
Teams—But Make It Cold War
If you’ve ever had someone “circle back” to you with an “urgent” request at 4:59 PM on a Friday, you know what I’m talking about. Teams chats in our office weren’t communication tools — they were weapons. Whole subplots unfolded in emoji reactions alone.
One day, someone responded to my project update with just “👀.”
That was it. No explanation. No follow-up.
Was it interest? Was it judgment? Was it the digital equivalent of someone staring into your soul, silently judging your font choice?
To this day, I don’t know. But I do know that I didn’t sleep for two nights.
Meetings That Could’ve Been Emails
Ah yes, the meetings. We had meetings to plan meetings. We had meetings about meetings. Meetings to recap the meeting we had before the last meeting. We had “quick catch ups” that turned into philosophical debates. I once sat through a 47-minute call where the only decision made was that we should “take this offline.”
Spoiler: we did not take it offline. We brought it right back online three days later and still decided nothing.
There were entire days I spent talking about doing work, instead of actually doing work. I’m fairly certain one of our projects died of old age while waiting for stakeholder alignment. In fact I had a stakeholder who actually retired waiting for a project to progress out of UAT.
Romance in the Workplace (a.k.a. Things HR Pretends Not to Notice)
Somewhere along the way, my manager started dating one of my peers. Adorable, right?
Except — plot twist — said peer got promoted not long after. From “we’re just close colleagues” to “she’s your new manager” faster than you can say “conflict of interest.”
Nothing says “transparent leadership” like pretending nobody notices your lunch dates have turned into closed-door strategy meetings. And when she started running our team meetings? Let’s just say the power dynamics were… noticeably spicy.
Was it awkward? Yes. Did the rest of us start communicating exclusively through GIFs and facial expressions? Absolutely.
To be fair, everyone’s entitled to love. But maybe not love and a fast-tracked promotion while the rest of us are doing emotional gymnastics just to get calendar time.
Why I’m Really Leaving
In all seriousness, I’m moving on because I want to grow, learn, and not play emotional Jenga every time I log into Outlook.
My new role offers opportunities that align with where I want to go (and by “where I want to go” I mean: somewhere where people don’t throw staplers, or shade, during budget meetings).
But I will say this — I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the chaos (it built character), the coworkers who kept me sane (you know who you are) and grateful not just because I survived, but because nothing sharpens your sense of humor quite like explaining to your therapist why two coworkers formed an unofficial alliance and tried to block your lunch breaks.
I’m also grateful for the friends I made, the ones who sent “you good?” eye contact during meetings, and the secret Teams channels where the real therapy happened.
I’m ready to be in a place where opportunities aren’t tangled up in office politics and where praise isn’t reserved for the loudest voice in the room.
Here’s to fresh starts, clean slates and workplaces where the only thing brewing is coffee, not scandal.
Wish me luck. Or at least send wine. And snacks.
xoxo
