I’m not a super awkward person. I don’t always say the right thing at the right time, sure, but generally speaking, I like to think I can keep it cool. I can hold a conversation, smile at strangers, maybe even toss in a well-timed joke now and then. So why—why—when someone asks me “How are you?” do I instinctively blurt out, “And you!”?
This particular social mishap reared its head again yesterday. I’d just stopped at the petrol station to grab some milk on the way home after Elliott’s swimming lesson. It had been a long, splashy afternoon, and I was ready to head home. I paid for the milk, the guy handed me the receipt and, as polite people do, said, “Thank you, ma’am.”
And I—cool, calm, collected me—responded with a hearty, “And you!”
Not “Thanks!” Not “You too!” Just… “And you!” Like a broken robot programmed only to deflect basic human interaction.
It reminded me of this gem from when my sister and I were younger. For my birthday one year, she got me a fold-out birthday card that transformed into a full-blown birthday banner. This thing screamed birthday—it couldn’t have been more festive if it had shot out confetti. And what did she write inside it? “Happy Christmas.”
It’s now a thing in our family. A running joke. Because sometimes, no matter how socially capable we think we are, our brains just take unexpected detours. You mean to say one thing, and your mouth gleefully chooses another.
So here’s to all of us who accidentally say “you too” when the waiter tells us to enjoy our meal. Or tell someone ‘Merry Birthmas’ when they announce they’re getting married.
We’re out here, doing our best, slightly malfunctioning in the most charming ways.
“And you!” forever.
