Sometimes I wonder… how would I even know if my mum didn’t tell me?? Like seriously. There’s SO much I just… wouldn’t know.
- I wouldn’t know I’m the goodest girl (apparently there are no better ones?)
- I wouldn’t know I do the biggest stretches in the whole house.
- I wouldn’t know my ears are soooooo big!
- I wouldn’t know my zoomies are flyball worthy.
- I wouldn’t know how much she loves my big fat feets (Rude, but ok!)
- I wouldn’t know my toe beans look like coffee beans (whatever those are, but they sound delicious)
- I wouldn’t know that snoots can be booped — what kind of madness is that?!
- I wouldn’t know how fluffy I am (but apparently, very)
- I wouldn’t know how much my bum and tail wiggle — at the same time!
Multitasking queen apparently. - I wouldn’t know I’m the “reason she can’t have nice things”
- I wouldn’t know I’m cute (She says it 872 times a day, but who’s counting?)
- I wouldn’t know I “chase wabbits in my sleep.” (Last time I checked we didn’t even own a wabbit)
- I wouldn’t know I’m supposed to be gentle with cat (even though cat is never gentle with me)
- I wouldn’t know about the sacred law of the cheese tax (A noble and fair system, honestly)
- I wouldn’t know I’m “the reason she gets up in the morning” (And the reason she can’t sleep in)
And I definitely wouldn’t know about my mum’s “business”
- I have to ‘help’ my mum with all her business things.
- When mum’s working, I supervise.
- When she’s on a call, I provide background vocals and guest appearances.
- When she goes to the toilet — I guard her. From what exactly is unclear. But I take my duties very seriously.
- When she gets dressed — I supervise. She can’t be trusted.
- I also have to remain within 3 feet of mum at all times – job security!
Basically, I’m the Chief Executive of Everything.
Anyway. Moral of the story: there’s a lot I wouldn’t know if my mum didn’t tell me.
But now I do. Basically, I’m adorable, hilarious, and the center of the universe.
And I wouldn’t know that… unless my mum told me every. single. day.
xoxo
